OTO Chapter 45

Hey guys, don’t forget to stay safe out there!

---

[Evil’s Mistake]

“After breaking up with Hyde and leaving the organization, I went through various cities.”

A faint voice echoed in a quiet room.

Yoiyami-san’s room in an apartment on the outskirts of the city was a dreary room with only a set of table and chairs and an old wooden bed.

Also, the three arranged chairs couldn’t be sat on without removing the dust that covered it.

It unsurprisingly didn’t gave off the feeling of being lived in.

In such a room, we listened to Yoiyami-san who began talking.

The reason we decided to listened to Yoiyami-san’s talk was because Desuko-san asked us to listen.

We expressly listening to the story to judge wether or not Yoiyami-san should return to Anonymous.

But, maybe Desuko-san wanted me and Roll to listen to the story of “A person who doesn’t want to kill people anymore”.

Or did I wanted to listen to it myself?

In any case, I’m also interested in why Yoiyami-san who had power to compete with Boss and as a matter of fact had killed a lot of people, didn’t want to kill them anymore.

“…… The city I first headed to was Saint Celia.”

Saint Celia. It’s a large city where the headquarters of the SDF are located.

It’s a city that we had to passed through to get to Mt. Jiize where Tameiki-san brought me to finish up my training.

“If it’s at Saint Celia, ……the people of the organization wouldn’t easily approach. I decided to live quietly there.
Fortunately……, I had more money than I can possibly use.”

Is it the money earned from Anonymous’s mission?

I also regularly received an amount of money that I won’t be able to used up. Even now, it’s already pretty well accumulated, so it’s not unusual for Yoiyami-san to saved enough more money than he could possibly used.

Or rather, it accumulated on its own.

“For a while, I lived in Saint Celia.
Saint Celia was a peaceful city because the SDF’s headquarters were located there.”

“Un.”

Desuko-san nodded.

“I who used to ‘killing’ everyday……, was overwhelmed by the gap.
So I turned to drink. From the light of the outside world. I lived in the dark side of the world because the other side is too bright for me.”

Gap…… the gap between peace and ‘killing’.

I also know that.

No, I was supposed to know.

When I came to this world, I couldn’t feel a clear gap.

Because I couldn’t afford it.

That’s why I was like shortcutting something, unlike Yoiyami-san who should have naturally feel it.

To live, I had to cling to it.

For myself, who stopped all my consideration, might not be able to get that something back.

When I thought so, I felt a little sad.

“I regrets. For me who had killed too many people, can I stop from keep killing people? ……even though I only did it to survive?”

“Yoiyami-san, what is your reason for killing people?”

I unintentionally asked such a question.

Roll line of sight turned towards me. While Desuko-san keep looking at Yoiyami-san’s eyes.

“My reason to kill people……?”

“Yes.”

“There must be a lot of people who kill because they belong to Anonymous.
The people of the organization……, had to kill people during mission.”

……Certainly. Being a part of an organization like Anonymous, you are forced to kill people.

But I don’t want to hear the ‘reason’ to kill people is because it is a mission. It’s a more underlying story.

I might be asking a wrong question.

Why you entered Anonymous? It was better to ask that.

“It’s not only because it’s a mission. That’s only part of the story.”

Desuko-san added.

“……That’s right.
In the end all of the organization’s members were brought in by Hyde except himself. Abandoned people by the side of the road and the people who lost their way of life.
Cornered, I (Hyde) became an ally to those who didn’t have an ally, ……that’s how he gathers people.”

Silence descended.

“I was also like that.”

Roll muttered so.

Me too. Seems like Tameiki-san was also like that, and I heard Kuroinu-san might also like that.

“Anonymous was in that sense.
There are many people who can’t live without the organization. That alone was sufficient reason for it to exists.
Therefore, for me, who was in the organization since the time of it’s founding, “killing” was a job to protect the value of myself (Anonymous), and no other meaning was necessary.”

“……I see.”

Yoiyami-san was not good at speaking, and the words are choppy.

The timing of cutting a word is also strange, and the interval until the next word might be unusually long.

However, I had a hunch that it was to gave us time to think, and I felt the weight of those words.

“If you need to kill so you can live, it’s not evil.
It’s just an instinct. ……The same as killing and eating a pig.”

Those words seemed to affirm me.

“I’m not sure about the killing part. But why compare it to pig?”

Saying that, Desuko-san puts her elbow on the table.

“……Comparing it with livestock that were born to be killed is too much. But, they are similar.”

Silence descended.

Only Desuko-san that had a face that she couldn’t accept the words of Yoiyami-san.

“Yoiyami-san, do you have a life purpose?”

“……Is that question like, why I lived?”

I thought that he would answered the question in a roundabout way, but he return it directly.

“……In a nutshell, yes.”

“Yes…… What am I living for?”

So it’s like that. Yoiyami-san wasn’t alive because he had a purpose that he ultimately wanted to achieve.

I also don’t have a purpose to live and achieve. I just don’t want to die.

Despite that, he lives by killing people who may have dreams.

I’m thinking about such things at this late hour.

However, Yoiyami-san’s words were too heavy for me. It makes think about it, didn’t it?

“Roll? Do you have a dream?”

“……No, I don’t.”

The way I worded it is bad, but Roll also just lived.

People still lives even without a purpose.

But, I wonder what is the meaning to live if you have to kill? Even though it’s too late now, what is the meaning that I have kill because I was afraid to die?

Sense of guilt? Wrong.

I felt that it was better to live with a purpose.

“……How about Desuko-san?”

“I have y’know.”

So Desuko-san had one.

Even though she usually played around like that?

“……In the first place, is there good or bad in killing? If so, who decide it?”

Suddenly, Roll said that.

Roll seems to have lived in this organization since childhood.

Roll is the same as Yoiyami-san. She can’t understand that killing people is clearly evil because she had always lives by killing people.

It’s common sense that killing is not acceptable by law and moral.

However, It might not be understood in deeper places.

Or rather, understanding it leads to self denial.

“Everyone decides. Because they don’t want to be killed, it’s fine even though killing is evil.”

“There’s also some cases where killing is fine.
Or rather, let’s get back to the main topic. I want to know why Yoiyami won’t kill people anymore.”

“Aa, the talk has diverted.”

“I’m sorry.”

I apologized for having interrupted the talk.

“How far did we talk?”

“It’s about your regret.”

“That’s right.
I regretted leaving the organization. I was stopped by various people but I can’t reconsider it.”

“……”

“You guys seems to misunderstand me, I don’t hate Hyde. Rather, I still consider myself as his partner.”

“Then you should come back and make up with him. Why did you fought anyway?”

“Why we fought? ……I forgot it.”

You forgot?

It was only 5 years ago, how could you forgot that you had a big fight?

“So you really won’t tell me. Neither Hyde nor Yoiyami.”

Aa, so it’s actually he doesn’t want to?

“Then you just have to read my heart.”

“I can’t. Hyde and Yoiyami, you guys hid it deep inside your heart.”

There must be something happened between Yoiyami-san and Boss.

That was the reason they fought. If Desuko-san can’t read them because they hid it deeply inside their heart, it must be something that they can’t let out to other people.

“Anyway, after leaving the organization, as you said, I spent my time comfortably for a while.”

Yoiyami-san looked at Desuko-san as he said that.

“I didn’t kill people even once.
But one day, one request came to me. It’s a killing request.
Was it 4 years ago?—”

Prev ToC Next

---

Want more? Check out my patreon!